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As I sit in my room that looks out into the atrium, the sounds of con float up to me. Convolution is still very small. We hardly seem to be a presence in the hotel. We are dwarfed by the other convention – I don’t know what it’s for, but it involves people in suits. And yet, there is a stillness in the air up here. A breath held – waiting. Convolution seems to be a con of day trippers and staff. And today really feels like just the dress rehearsal.

Getting checked in for Con was… well it was an adventure. Luckily I had no where to be for hours, so waiting 30 minutes and getting sent from place to place was no big deal. And it’s not my circus, not my monkeys. So it’s not my place to judge or criticize. What matters is I have my badge, and I know where to go to get badges for my co-GMs when they arrive.

The hotel staff are nice enough, but it feels strange. Having interacted with the staff at the Hyatt in Santa Clara for Baycon, I know what excited staff looks like. These guys are not excited. They are resigned to us being here. And that makes me a little sad, especially given this year’s theme. But maybe over the next few years, if Con stays here, and continues to grow it’s attendee base with polite, friendly people, that will change. Or maybe since they are so close to the airport, the staff is just conditioned to stoic professionalism for the sake of all the business types who come through, and it will never change.

The con isn’t the only thing that’s waiting though. I’m waiting. Waiting and trying not to pace. The scheduled programming doesn’t really interest me. It just isn’t my cup of tea, at least not in my agitated state. And being so small a con, there are very few people I know around. So I’m just waiting – and trying not to pace the length of the hotel (again) until 6 pm. At 6, the space in which I am hosting my game opens up and I can go arrange tables and chairs. Then I can pseudo-usefully whittle away the time in nervousness. Because running larps at Con is stressful. I never know if I’m going to have enough people. And I won’t know until like 30 minutes after the event is supposed to have started.

This year, for this con, I’ve had great support from programming and from the social media “team” (I put it in quotes because as far as I know, it’s just one – amazing – person), so I’m hopeful we’ll have enough people. But I’m also nervous, because no one has signed up and said they’ll come. Now it’s true that usually people don’t want to commit until the last minute at Cons, but it’s nice to have at least a few, so it doesn’t feel like you are throwing words and effort and energy off into the limitless void for no reason. It’s nice to know someone is listening on the other end of the string.

In other news, I’m dressed in purple and gold this afternoon, in a beautiful (expensive) skirt I got at Ren Faire last weekend. I’ve also gotten a ridiculous number of compliments on my gold circlet. So I must be doing something right in the “costuming” department. Lets hope the trend continues all weekend, and I make positive impressions on people and they remember me as “the girl who runs the larps” and comes to more of my events in the future.

For now, I think I shall return to pacing the con and worrying when my Co-GM intends to arrive. I’ll let you know how game goes, if it goes at all.